Networking as a Highly Sensitive Person

Networking as a highly sensitive person can be challenging. Yesterday, I attended a big networking event for women entrepreneurs in the Netherlands organised by Spark Global, so I wanted to share with you what I learned from networking as an HSP in such a large gathering.

From the moment I came in, I felt I was in my element. I am an ENFJ personality type, which means I am comfortable talking to people, connecting with others, and making them feel listened to and valued. I truly care about making people feel at ease. However, being an ENFJ also means that I am an extremely sensitive individual who consistently forgets to listen to the signs my body and mind are giving me. That, naturally, takes a toll on my wellbeing more often than I would like to admit.

ENFJs like myself, are usually extraverted people, but there's an exception to each rule. I am roughly 50% extraverted and 50% introverted. What does that mean? While I thrive in social events, communicating, listening, and talking, I often need to hide away in my woman cave after a day of too much "sociability". Usually, highly sensitive people are introverts, but because I am in the middle of the spectrum, I appear as a highly energetic person who thrives when surrounded by people. I might appear that way, and I do some social events, but for a limited time. After spending time out in the world, I need to recover by being on my own to keep my  sanity at bay. Does that sound familiar?

Yesterday's event was everything I wished for: great workshops, inspiring real female entrepreneur success stories, tips and advice to live a more meaningful life, great networking opportunities and the possibility to connect with other like-minded women. Having said that, yesterday's event also left me completely and utterly shattered. Shattered? Yes, shattered.

While on the metro on my way home, I could barely stand on my feet, I felt dizzy and too warm, and I could not focus on anything but not losing track of my bags while I kept my balance. I saw a blur and I started counting the minutes until I reached my stop. It was rush hour, the tube was crowded, and I had been in a closed, crowded space all day. I was definitely way out of my comfort zone. I just wanted to get to my apartment and tuck myself in. I started feeling that networking as a highly sensitive people was too much for me.

As soon as I got home, I kicked off my heeled boots, left my bags on the floor and got a hot water bottle for my back. I notice how I was having an episode of intense pain due to my fibromyalgia. I could barely walk due to the soreness of my muscles and joints and I had a raging headache. I was still very excited about the event, but my body was sending me signals, it was telling me to put my phone away and go to bed. At 8pm. Really. Being an HSP and having  fibro is not what you'd call a winning combination, but things are the way they are, so we just need to find a formula to manage the challenges that we face and that works for us.

Tips to Network as an HSP

• Getting to bed early the day before an event. The day before an event I go to bed earlier than usual. Next time I will journal about my expectations on the upcoming day and about myself. I will write down 3 things I want to achieve and 3 things I will set boundaries on. This way, I will make sure I don't overdo it.
• Take regular short breaks to unplug and reconnect with yourself. I decided next time I attend a big social event, I will step out of the venue by myself every hour or two hours, breathe some fresh air for 10 minutes, and then go back in.
• Focus on the positives. While outside, I will think of 3 things that I am grateful for.  I usually write a daily gratitude journal, so this will be a good moment to do it. It'll help me boost some positive vibes when I start feeling tired and it'll take off the edge from such an overwhelming experience.
• I will drink much more water throughout the day. Hydration is key to wellbeing, it regulates our body temperature and it ensures we postpone muscle fatigue, helping us get rid of toxins and waste.
• I will wear loose-fitting clothes that allow me to feel less constricted. I usually don't mind figure-hugging but comfortable clothes, but if you are going to spend the whole day walking around, sitting in uncomfortable chairs, and meeting new people, wearing clothes that give you a sense of lightness and freedom are a must. We HSPs often struggle with feeling trapped and wanting to run away to scream "I need spaaaaace!". If you live in a small, overly crowded place like Amsterdam, you know this is not a possibility. To avoid that, look for alternatives that will give you that feeling of freedom.
• Once home, unplug. I will not start looking at my files and business cards I collected, or start browsing the internet. I will allow myself to eat a healthy nutritious dinner, take a long warm shower, and go to bed. I will listen to a nice podcast or read a book and go to sleep right afterwards.

Social events are no joke to HSPs. Find the magic potion that will help you attend them without paying a high price for it, write it down, and put it into practice.

And you, how do you deal with social events as a highly sensitive person?